Saturday, May 15, 2010

Did he Cheat???

I've been married for 14 years (3 kids). A few days ago I came home from work and got a strange phone call from a girl who said my hubby was cheating on me with her. She said "Can I speak to Cindy? (that's me) I'm sorry to tell you this but Greg has been cheating on you with me for 6 months now. I just found out about you. I can't take this anymore." Then she hung up before I could say anything.


I just sat there in shock. About 2 minuits later the phone rang again and a girl (the same one i'm pretty sure said," I'm sorry but my sister just prank called you. She got your number from the phone book."Then she said, " You guys, that was really mean." and hung up. Here is the strange part. My first name is not listed in the phone book, only my husbands is, but she used Cindy when asking for me? If it was a random prank call how did she know my name? I confrunted my husband and he denies everything tooth and nail. Her phone # showed on caller ID as "private number".

Did he Cheat???
You poor dear, I've been married for 25 years. The first ten were the best years of my life. The next 15 were, and still are the worst. I would say your husband is cheating on you, yes because the woman knew your first name. The second thing is that she is feeling guilty about it. And of course your husband denies everything. He has to much to lose. In my 12th year of marriage my wife was seen with other men all the time. It seemed that every male friend I had, she has had an affair with. I told myself, that if I didn't see it, then it didn't happen. I knew in my "GUT" that it did happen, many times.


It wasn't untill about two years ago that she made this statement to me. I asked her about what she had done, she said, "Oh, that was a long time ago." That told me that she did do what I knew she had done. She didn't come right out and say it, but that is what she meant. Because I'm a born again Christian, I did not leave her, get a divorce, instead I moved out in the back yard and lived in a tent. I later built a bedroom out of a 8ftX10ft storeage shed. We have not had sex in ten years, when my last child was conceived. Do I still love her? Yes, but not as a husband, but as a human being. The power of God makes a person do the right thing. Think about it.
Reply:don't call the number - you will need to think back if your husband has changed some of his ways in the past 6mos. you will know - see if this tel# is on his part of the cellphone bill, (you should be able to check off the internet), if infact you see this number on his cellphone bill (granted you two are covered under the same provider) this will definitely answer all your questions. before you accuse him, you must get facts first. good luck and i hope everything works out for the best





well, this changes everything about the cellphone - you have to be really sure about checking out if he seeing someone before accusations occur. the voice of this person does not really matter, this person could have a young voice and be your age. see if you can get the address to this tel# and go by there to see if there are any teens or you may see his car, who knows, but i firmly believe in the facts before approach. now if you trust your husband, you should let it go.
Reply:If the voice sounded like a girl's voice, I would call the number back and try to speak to a parent and tell them what their offspring is doing.





I have no idea how that person could find out your first name unless they have called before and got that information from one of your kids.
Reply:Call her back, Listen to her voice, does she sound old or young. Be very nice to her, say Hello, I am calling to speak with the lady that called my home.Please don't hang up, I really need to know if this was a prank or not, This is my life that we are talking about.I love my husband dearly and if this is so then I really need to know so that I can do what I need to do go on in my life.
Reply:sure
Reply:Ok, when you call her, just tell her who you are and say something like, "Did he lie to you about being married?" and say, "I guess he's just a liar because he didn't tell me about you either. He's making fools out of both of us."


Give it a little thought first before you call. And...he is not going to tell the truth on this.


I got a similar phone call once. She said, "Well, he's coming back to you after being with me for two weeks." I started trying to talk to her and she told me he said he would leave me for her, but they got into a nasty fight. I felt kinda sorry for her because he lied to her. I did stay with him after this, but the same thing happened again a few years later with a different girl. We're divorced now.


Sorry this is happening to you. Best wishes.
Reply:call the number back and see what happened. ask if anyone knows a greg and go from there, if it was a prank they prolly forgot all about it, or follow your husband for a few days, check out his cell phone, the numbers hes called, check his pay stubs(if hes telling you hes been working later) listen if nothing has seemed out the normal with your husband, they may have found your name and phone number on the internet you never know and made a prank call. dont worry find out the facts and if he is, it is not the end of you world, you still have your babies (dont take it out on them, they love you), and you get that jerk off for all he is worth. dont get mad get everything!!!
Reply:You already know the truth.
Reply:I was probably not random but someone you know or are acquainted with. But it sounds like a prank call. There are horrible people out there that think these things are funny. It might be neighborhood teens that know you.





We can thank all the stupid radio shows that do these things on air. We think it's funny unless we are on the receiving end.





Again, it sounds like a prank and don't take it out on your husband. He is probably scratching his head wondering what is going on too.





Good Luck
Reply:You cannot ruin your life, because of some idiot calling you. You don't know who she is, or why she would say something like that. Maybe she wants to ruin your relationship, because she wants him. Whatever, you can't let it disrupt your marriage and especially your children!





I would definitely watch him now. I would say right to his face how this making you feel and he has to do something about it. I would tell him he has to prove that this broad was a liar in alot of ways. Don't let him just say that's not true and walk away. Tell him he has to prove it and believe or not, the two of you could become closer. Also say, if he's not happy and he ever thought of cheating, he has to talk to you about it. Lie and say, "you will understand".





If he says something that you didn't know or expect him to say, you take it from there. Good Luck
Reply:Girl first of all get a grip. What do you mean its getting hard to deal with the kids. Think Think Think. Have you lost your mind or your husband.


Now that we've gotten a grip on reality, lets go to work. (smile) How old are the children? Are they child support age.? It would be good if they are. See you dont get to a man through his heart he dont have one go for the pocket they will buckle they always do. See no women want a man that only is good for ******' he had better have something else, and if your takeing all that he got he only have enough for him and you get to go on with life and another and he will struggle as long as those kids is his.


So to answer you question yes he's cheating. But the real question is what is you going to do about it? See if she called you she wanted you to know put yourself above these two losers and give them the gift of each other. If you dont respond to her or him then they will be left wondering what you are doing, its call flipping the script. You already know he is and you already know he wont tell you anyway not that you really want to know. but now that you do because a little thought of him cheating is really all you need. Your husband would not even allow you to ever feel this way if it was not true. Let him keep cheating. While he's busting his nasty balls you start getting some balls and when all is said and done I promise you he will come and ask you can he borrow some of yuor balls because he didn't know what he had. Now you know your worth it find out if he thinks you are. Ask him if I thought you were cheating on me what would you expect me to do? and pay attention to his answer because you want to follow what he say. But for your self you collect edivence like phone numbers pictures times he leaves and arrives if it's unusal and document it your gonna need this in divorce court. Let me sum this up for you. A women with nothing and three children can get a man faster than a man that lives alone with a job oweing child support and alimony for a life that another man will enjoy. Make you husband pay for the trip that you and your new man will be taking. Do you feel me. If you need more email me.
Reply:First, I don't think you should call her. If she is immature enough to call and play on your phone, she is immature enough not to tell you the truth. A real woman would have come to you to tell you that, apologize for not knowing he was married and then help you set him up so she could prove he was cheating!


Secondly, it is not about you and her. It is about you and Greg. If he says that he is not cheating, and you don't have proof, you need to trust the man. However, I think you need to be more observant of his behavior. Is he working later? Staying out with his boys more often? Does he take his phone calls in another room or hang up/seem nervous whenever you enter the room and he is on the line? Does he insisit on running errands alone? Are there receipts for places you have not gone with him (dinner, etc)? Are there any strange numbers on your phone bill or cell phones? Does he spend a lot of time on line and if so, what types of sites are he visiting?


If you should discover that he is cheating, I don't want you to scream, curse or act a fool. You keep your head high and handle it like a woman. Act like it doesn't even matter. That would hurt him a lot more than it would if you cursed him out. A woman who is mad (and quiet) is a lot scarier to a man that one who is cutting the fool on him.


Next time the little chick calls, tell her that you are a grown woman and that you don't have time for games.


Apologize to Greg (don't say sorry...that implies that you did something wrong.) Tell him that you apologize if you hurt his feeling by accusing him of cheating. However, given the facts that you were presented, you would not be a good wife if you did not come to him and ask him. Let him know that cheating is not something you will tolerate. Let him know that IF he is cheating, he better nip it in the bud or you will. Most guys assume that means that we are going to confront the woman, however, if he is cheating, you need to either put him out or leave...at least until he gets the point that an unfaithful marriage is not an option.


Breathe deep. Put your game face on (Poker face!) Don't let him know you are upset or disgruntled over this.


Buy you a cheesecake and make it a blockbuster night. Pick up Waiting to Exhale, What's love Got to do with it, the Burning Bed and any other movie about a woman getting back at her husband. Oh, also get How to lose a Guy in Ten Days (if it is not a revenge movie but it is funny and you could use a laugh or two). Just know, It's going to be just fine! ~Best wishes!
Reply:Didn't you ask this same question before??
Reply:It could be some immature girl that has a crush on your husband. I've seen a couple go through something like this and as it turns out it was just an immature teenaged girl playing at games.





Put the phone call aside for a moment and ask yourself two things:


1.) Has your husband shown you any signs that he might be cheating? 2.) Would you suspect him of cheating if not for this phone call?





If he's innocent then it's terrible that a random phone call is doing this to your marriage.





-B
Reply:Do a reverse directory search, since you have the phone number you can get the address. Find out who this person is, and then if it seems that it is possible that this person is in contact with your husband press him on this. BUT do not do anything more until you do a little investigation. This will allow you to better gauge his honesty when you confront him.
Reply:get a detective or go to cheaters.com


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