How can I get closer to my father? He remarried and adopted stepmom's adult children, gives them $, etc. Help!

I'm the one who always has to go to him. He rarely makes the initiative to call us, unless there's a reason, never just to say hi, not even for his grandkids. Stepmother's snarkiness is really starting to come out, and will say subjective things like "Grow up, honey!" and start quoting Dr. Phil. The few times I've stood up for myself he'll defend her tooth and nail. I am not a teenager, my own kids are half grown, I honestly think he's been brainwashed. The dark part of my brain is starting to think that he hates being around me and my sister because we remind him of an earlier time in his life when he felt like a failure, and now he has started over.

How can I get closer to my father? He remarried and adopted stepmom's adult children, gives them $, etc. Help!
Your dad has started over with a new ready made family - there really isn't too much you can do. The best thing you can do is talk to him and tell him how you are feeling, maybe even have your kids say a thing or two if they are feeling neglected by their grandpa. Other than that, the only thing you can do is just act like an adult - call him once in a while (holidays, etc) and continue to be the one to initiate things. Trying to get your feelings across to his new wife or to him while around his new wife will be a waste of your breath.
Reply:I've always believed that no matter how old we are, when it comes to our parents, they are the 'adults'. Tell him how you feel and he should want to stop hurting you as he probably still thinks of you as his little girl.