My children won't listen to me?

I have a 6 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. When they are around other people they are little angels and behave perfectly when my husband (their dad) is home. When daddy is gone however and I am taking care of them by myself they act like little heathins. I have tried everything from punishments to rewards with them and nothing works. I try for HOURS to get them to sleep and they fight me tooth and nail. They will be into something I will tell them to stop and they look at me, turn around, and just keep doing it. They have no respect for me and I don't understand it. I need ideas, not insults for what to do to make them listen to and respect me! I am at a loss.

My children won't listen to me?
Try the timeless consequences used on kids for CENTURIES with good results - SPANKING!





I know you said you tried spanking and it did not work, but you did not give any detail about the way you spanked them (the number of spanks, the procedure, etc.)





When they misbehave, first warn them, and use a non-physical consequence (like time-out, or taking away a toy) and tell them the next time they misbehave, they'll be spanked.





Then if they misbehave again, FOLLOW THROUGH. Tell them they are getting a spanking and send them to go stand in the corner for a few minutes to think about their behavior and the spanking they have coming. (this will also give you a chance to cool down if you are angry - so that you don't lose control, and spank in a rage)





After a few minutes, you call them out of the corner, and over to the chair, bed, sofa, etc, where you are seated, and stand them in front of you.





Then you pull down their pants/skirt and ask them if they know and understand why they are in trouble, and have them tell you exactly what they did wrong. Scold them a bit, and tell them what she should have done differently, and how if they'd done that, they wouldn't be getting spanked and so on.





After that, you pull down their panties or underwear and scold a little more, telling them that you don't like to spank, but that it is your job as the parent to make sure they learn right from wrong, and the importance of following the rules. Tell them that you know that they can behave if they try, and you hope that they will behave in the future.





Then bend the child over your lap, pulling him or her across your knees, preferably such that their bottom is squarely parallel with your usable (dominant) hand.





Again, scold your child a bit more, emphasizing your displeasure at their behavior, and tell them that though you don't like to spank, as long as they continue to act up, spanking will be an option.





Then stop talking, and start the spanking. Spank firmly with hard, crisp smacks. Spank all over the bottom, slapping from just below the top of the "butt crack" (don't go any higher, or you risk striking dangerous areas of the back and not the intended target of the behind itself) and working your way down, to the center of the buttocks, alternating cheeks. Continue spanking all the way down, making sure you concentrate smacks in the "sit-spot" the crease between the bottom and the tops of the thighs.





Spank sharply, with sufficient force to cause redness, preferably snapping your wrist to make the spanks stingier. The 6 year old is old enough to get 2 -3 smacks times her age for general misbehavior. For the 2 1/2 year old, do NOT use more than 2 smacks per year of age.





For serious or dangerous offenses, don't use a set number of smacks, just spank, and spank and spank until you're sure that they have learned their lesson - usually when they are sobbing uncontrollably, but be careful not to be fooled by insincere "crocodile tears" promises.





After you finish the spanking, they should hopefully be sobbing genuinely. Then WITHOUT putting their pants %26amp; panties/underwear back on, you send them to the corner to calm down, compose themselves, and think about their behavior and the spanking they just got.





Then once they have quieted down, call them back over, cuddle them, and tell them that you love them very much, and don't like spanking, but that they left you no choice, and as long as they misbehave, they will risk finding themself in the same position - over your knee for a good spanking,





Reiterate that they are good kids, that you both know it, and you hope that they will behave so that you don't have to spank them again. Cuddle them as much as she wants, letting them know that they has been punished and she is completely forgiven.





At this time you can pull up their pants/skirts and panties/underwear and then go about the rest of the day. But don't bring up the misbehavior or spanking again. They has been punished and forgiven, so now is the time to let it go and not bring it up in the future.
Reply:Whoop there little asses
Reply:spank them....you are the parent....prove it to them.





Constancy is the biggest thing. Don't ever threaten them without a a complete follow threw. Don't ever count down. And only tell them once or wham right across the rear or in the corner they go.
Reply:time out
Reply:Give um a woopin. You may not believe in it, but it will only grow worse. You'll probably fell really bad about it later, but if thats what it takes for them to start listening.
Reply:OK well my sister has the exact thing she has a 4 year old and a 2 year old ...well do you spank then i know ppl are all like noo it hurts them ..wel duh so that they wont do it again ..well that's my into
Reply:If they don't listen get their attention by going over to them and tell them to stop and that they can play with it later. When you try to get them to fall asleep read them a story or stay with them till they fall asleep. Never hit a child cause at that age they could think that if one of their friends doesn't listen that they could just hit them.
Reply:give them consequences make out a list of things like if they disobey they get a sertain punishment I don't know if you like the idea of spankings but if you do , get a wooden spoon and like i said make a list of wroungs and put a number of spanks they get if they do them . for instance....





disobeydeance =2 spanks


hitting , kicking or scraching =3 spanks


I hope that helps.
Reply:They act that way because they know you're a pushover. Kids need a parent to be a strong authority figure. Set rules and guidelines and stick to them. Let your kids know exactly what you want, "It's bedtime, I want you to go to bed now." If they don't go to bed, place them there. If they get out, put them back until they stay in bed.





Never show anxiety or emotions (they'll know they're getting under your skin). Don't scream or yell at them. Just set your mind on what they should be doing and stick with it. Consistency is the most important thing. Kids need to know that you will always follow through with discipline if they don't do what you ask them.
Reply:Constant--


I understand how you feel. It will take patience, but you can do it. Keep reminding yourself that YOU are the parent, owner of the house, owner of the car, owner of the food, chief cashier of the bank at your house. Make sure they both understand that if they want something that makes them happy they have to go through YOU and make You happy first!! Beating the kids doesn't teach them respect, but fear.





Continue with timeouts. If you need to time out them in a bedroom, remove anything that will make them confortable.


The stuffed animals, toys, TV, radio, books, anything eletronic, be taken out of the room. If they are still playing making sheet tents or messing up the bed, remove even the bed linens. When they comply with what you want they can earn them back.





Make sure Dad understands that you need him to stand behind you and back you up when you tell the children something. There is a reason they don't pull things when Dad is around. Watch Dad and see what he is doing with them that makes them behave better.





Lastly, and this is really the hardest, when you are ready to fly off the handle, take a deep breath, collect yourself and don't let those kids see that they suceeded in making you upset.


Some kids enjoy that. Don't give them the pleasure. Hang in there, they do grow up!! Treat yourself!
Reply:Leashes!
Reply:To me you are doing great job keeping busy.Kids like testing your patience,Are you feeding a lots of sweets.People make a mistake thinking that certain Sweets are just candy and cookies,so I don't know if you .You didn't mention their diet.check the carbohydrates that are given to them. like crackers, juices, bread etc. If this will not calm them down for a change in about a weeks time, I 'd consult my doctor about their behavior, and tell him or her about the things you do to keep them together,but is not working. GoodLuck and I hopet hings can at least slow down for you.
Reply:call nanny 911
Reply:My daughter was like that i took all her toys away I mean all and when she would be good i would let her pic a toy but when she started all over again I would take that away again it took a good two months and she finally got all her toys back and now she listens. All kids are different it worked for me. I hope you find what works for you.
Reply:first note to courtney...why in the world would you pull your childs pants down and then ask them what they did wrong??? that is humiliation..and even though i believe in spanking..that to me...is just wrong..I am never out to humiliate my child..and that is a form of abuse..EMOTIONAL ABUSE....BE CONSISTENT!!! THATS THE PROBLEM!! if you were consistent and these children are as bad as you say they are then there would be nothing but a bed for them to sleep on in their bedroom as we speak! so that says you are not consistent..and seem to have never been! If you dont nip it in the bud now..you will pay for it from now on. I am not insulting you i promise..I am stating a fact--You Have To B Consistent!! And it seems that you are not. So try it from the beginning starting tomorrow..Fresh Clean Slate! Be firm in what you say--not yell..it doesn't get across to alot of kids..they learn to tune you out...when they do something wrong, warn them..do again..warn them...do it AGAIN punish them..with whatever warning you had given...AND STICK WITH THAT PUNISHMENT..if its time out...make them stay..for the almost 3 year old..3 minutes..for the 6 year old...6 minutes...if they try to get out..put them back..BE CONSISTENT..if they do something that you feel deserves their toys are out of the room for a day..or two..TAKE THAT TOY OUT and DO NOT give it back until two days later...BE CONSISTENT...that is the BIG key!! ( I am not insulting you at all...I am trying to help...and if it help while they are in time out or something and you need relieve tension..go to your bedroom..put a pillow to your face..and scream really loud in it.....it might help...GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:go on a nice vacation to hawaii and get a nanny =D
Reply:define spanking? is it a swat on the hand or a slap on the butt? how long do you take away the toys? is it something that they love to play with or something they could care less about? Are you sure you give them rewards ONLY when they are good? do you take away these rewards if they are being bad on the way there/in the store? or do you just say 'oh well we're on our way anyway.' Are you consistant with your punishments? All things to consider when asking this question. You have to be firm YOU are the adult THEY are the children COMMAND respect!
Reply:Hi,


You can always try the old fashion things such as spanking them.


You could just stop giving into all their wants.


Stop babyig them.Do what your husband does when they don't listen.Try useing the same voice that he does with them.